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The Covenant of Marriage

All of us who are married know that marriage is hard, and if you have been married for any length of time you also know that the honeymoon phase fades overtime. We just step into the reality of life, kids, jobs, parents, financial struggles, cars breaking down…and on and on and on it goes. So how do we keep the world from invading our marriage, and how do we build a marriage that will last and be amazing?

First, make your marriage your number one priority (behind God, of course). One of the biggest mistakes I see couples making in marriage is allowing the raising of children to take priority over their marriage. Now don’t get me wrong, children are very important and need our attention but how often do you stop talking to your spouse because a child interrupts or is pulling on your pant leg? Not too many times of this and your spouse will receive the message, whether you intend it or not, that the kids are more important to you then he/she is. Kids are wonderful and gifts from God, but your children should take second place after your spouse.

Secondly, make sure you save time and energy each day for each other. Every couple will find their own unique way of making this happen but praying together at either the beginning of the day or at the end is a terrific way to connect to each other and to God.

Thirdly, view your marriage as a covenant and not a contract. In contracts, if one party fulfills their portion of the contract and the second party fulfills theirs, it’s a service and payment. In marriage terms, if he does 50%, I’ll do 50%, but if he doesn’t…I’m out.

If we view our marriage as a covenant and not a contract, there is no 50/50. In a covenant we fulfill our commitment even when the other party doesn’t fulfill theirs. There are so many times in life when one spouse must carry the other, just like God in His mercy carried us in our sin. We all fall but if we view marriage as a covenant and not a contract, we can be there to pick up, support, and love the other even when they are not doing their part. Is it easy? No, but God never promised easy….he promised fulfilling.

As grandmas used to say, ‘marriage is no cake walk’, but a fulfilling, loving, amazing marriage is possible, and sometimes we just lose our way.

 These three reminders on marriage are all covered in the Re/Engage program starting next Wednesday, January 16 here at church at 7:00 PM.  It’s a 16-week program designed to help you and your spouse reconnect, reignite, and resurrect your marriage. It’s for all kinds of marriages. There is not a marriage that is too far gone or one that is too healthy. Join us for the first week and just check us out, then go home and discuss together if you would like to continue. If you come back the next week, you will have made the commitment to continue, it’s that simple.

Besides the gift of Christ, marriage is one of the greatest gifts God has given to us, but because we are selfish and broken people, marriage as God made it, is also broken. Join us and work on the marriage that God intended for you and your spouse!

Kathy Bartels
Associate Pastor

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